Hotel Moustache

Our accomodations in Niamey were an exercise in spartan living. By spartan I mean dirty, urine stank, broken down, bug infested existence.  Chosen because it was the right price, Hotel Moustache did not receive the AAA™ approval for 2011 as a preferred travel destination.  Rolling up to the place the street sign featuring exotic men with full mustaches, also proudly proclaimed that this is a TWO star hotel. Let me just say, no way. The 'Stache doesn't rate a single star, not even a half of a single star. The dingy lobby featured a picture of the previous owner of the hotel, a man with a truly amazing, face eating mustache that must have scared young children and been a source of true facial hair pride. It makes Magnum, PI, king of 80's mustache glory, look like a sissy.

The broken cement hallway leading to our luxury rooms featured a shady entrepreneur type with an ironing business, and, of course a urine smell. The rooms themselves featured a very dirty bed, paint and old wallpaper peeling off the wall, an unusable closet with a broken table in it and a glorious private bathroom. (We were told the rooms with a shared bath were sold out already). Having been forced into the upgrade we were excited to see what we paid the extra $2.50 for. Well, the dirt and urine smell theme continued into the bath, with a dirty sink coming off the wall, a busted toilet with no seat or flushing mechanism, and a shower consisting of a pipe sticking out of the wall. The light did not work in the bath, so all bathroom activities were done either with the door open or under the cover of darkness. Given the creepy crawly factor, the door stayed open for me. Lest you doubt we were in the absolute lap of luxury, the water stopped flowing the second day of our stay, leaving us without bath, toilet, and drinking water. Overall I give the 'Stache no stars, an absolute failing grade in every category of cleanliness and maintenance, and an F- in pleasant odors.